Allie - Part 1

Allie: Part 1

By Marshall Bauer | Unaccompanied Youth Project

Allie has lived on her own completely since June 2012, despite not turning 18 until September. 

She had lived alone on and off for a few months before that when her dad would stay with his girlfriend for a few weeks at a time in the Twin Cities. 

Allie’s parents split up when she was 15 and a freshman in high school. Her mom moved to Colorado and Allie visited her a couple times, but Allie stayed with her dad in Minnesota City. She said it seemed like she was taking care of him. 

Her dad broke his leg and foot in a motorcycle accident, so Allie ended up taking care of him even more. 

Allie said, “I was literally putting him before myself all the time, taking care of him, because him and I get along great.”

The fact that Allie has always been an independent person helped her out, she said. 

Allie’s dad invited her to move with him to the Twin Cities, but she decided to stay so she could finish high school and be with her friends and her older sister. 

Allie cleans her kitchen Tuesday, March 12, 2013, at her home near Winona. (Photo by Joe Ahlquist)

Allie is still close with her dad and they are in touch almost daily and they visit each other every month. Her dad helps her with utilities, car insurance, car repairs, health insurance, and other things like that. 

 “When my dad first moved out, and I was on my own, it hadn’t been anything new,” Allie said. “I was already taking care of him, taking care of myself. It actually kind of made it easier, that sounds horrible, but I had to clean up after him all the time.”

Things didn’t change much despite living on her own. 

“It was just like, okay, I’m just going to do exactly what I’ve been doing, hang out with my friends, go to the beach, like it didn’t really matter,” she said.

Allie said people have asked her if it raised any red flags that she was 17 at the time, but she said: “No, because I wasn’t in school, I was just here, hanging out with my friends all summer and working.” 

Problems started due to Allie not getting along with her boss, so she quit her job as a waitress at Golden China, which forced her to start selling her things. 

Allie got a job at Winona Massage in the fall, and then at Hy-Vee, where she currently works, around Thanksgiving.

Allie said she definitely feels like she missed a part of her childhood.

“It was hard, but growing up too fast isn’t such a big deal to me,” she said. “It’s just a matter of how you look at it, I guess.”

Allie said the hardest part of living by herself and going to high school has been working two jobs. 

“It was extremely difficult. I didn’t do well my first trimester. I struggled quite a bit, but God forbid I was going to tell my parents. I basically worked more than I worked on school work.”

Allie is still going to graduate, so she feels as though it won’t affect her in the long run.

A framed photograph sits packed in a box Tuesday, March 12, 2013, at Allie's home near Winona. (Photo by Joe Ahlquist)

Allie’s had roommates that stayed with her in her parent’s old house. 

“I’ve had bad roommates in the past, there was one that stole $1,400,” she said. “He took my dad’s checkbook and forged his signature.”

Each time a roommate left, Allie said: “It was just like ‘oh, another person’s leaving me.’”

The biggest negative that’s come from living alone has been being lonely, Allie said. The only things that stop her have been the financial aspects, but the biggest thing that gets to her is being lonely. 

Allie said she thinks more good has come out of it than bad. 

She had always been pretty independent, but she became more independent. 

“I’m very independent, I’m very grounded, I have goals,” Allie said. “Overall, I’m very responsible. I have a good head on my shoulders. I learned a lot.”

“I think that in my lifetime, I’ll be able to adjust to situations a lot faster than most people,” Allie said. “For example, people going off to college are kind of freaked out because their parents did everything for them and I just laugh, like okay, I’ll tell you how to do it, if you need help – I’ll do it.”

Allie said she does have a bit of resentment towards both of her parents, but she doesn’t feel any resentment or jealousy to other people her age who live with her parents, who have “safety nets”. She said many people her age that she knows are jealous of her because she is independent and can do everything by herself. 

“I’m not a normal teenager by any stretch of the word,” Allie said.  

There’s more to come! Keep up with Allie’s story at unaccompaniedyouth.blogspot.com