Allie - Tattoo

This is our final post regarding Allie's story. Allie recently got a tattoo at Third Eye Tatu in Winona. Hear her explain the tattoo below.

Contributed Story - Jennifer Benda

Jennifer's Story

Photo contributed Jennifer Benda

By Jennifer Benda

When I was 12, my parents got divorced and my older brother, younger sister and I stayed 70/30 (favoring mom) by default as a custody arrangement.

Within two years, both parents remarried and my siblings and I chose to live more with mom, since it was a more relaxed living environment (dad's wife had very young kids in comparison, and mom's husband had kids around all of ours ages).

The next four years proved to be quite interesting... My mom's husband apparently had a very lengthy report on his domestic violence tendencies. Clearly, I was not aware and my mom to this day believes it was all his crazy ex wife making up stories after he left her.

Shortly after they married, my mom's husband became physically abusive and "d day" hit our home the night before Valentine's Day. After scratching and bruising my mom's face, I moved out shortly after and never looked back.

I stayed with friends for the first couple weeks, and then my mom got an apartment for her and I to share until I was 18.

Once I turned 18, I moved out on my own, worked full-time and finished my senior year of high school... Now almost 5 years later, I've never turned back to the past and continue to build myself with no help of my family.

I currently run production for a management consulting firm, and have certainly come a long way from teary, fearful eyes of a 16 year old girl...

Now, life hasn't been all roses! I've gone from job to job and continue to work hard, and at the end of the day, I know that the fire that fuels me is that of spite and the inability to ever go back.

Editor's note: This story has been contributed by Jennifer Benda. You can share your story by emailing us at unaccompanied.youthdocumentary@gmail.com. You can also share your story anonymously by just letting us know you'd like to remain anonymous.  

Allie - Part 3

Allie: Part 3 

By Marshall Bauer|Unaccompanied Youth  

Everything has been going smoothly for Allie as of late.

“School is going very well,” Allie said. “My plan is to graduate early.”

 

Matt Hanson Q & A

Unaccompanied Youth caught up with Matt Hanson, an outreach worker with Evergreen Youth and Family Services in Bemidji, Minn., and had a Q & A. 

Here are his responses, and huge thank you to Matt for participating. 

Unaccompanied Youth: What kind of work do you do for unaccompanied youth?

Matt Hanson: As an Outreach Worker, I do whatever I can to help advocate for the youth who I get the opportunity to talk to.  Since my program doesn’t have an intake process or structured case management format, it is all about what the youth wants/needs on their terms at that time.

Sometimes that looks like helping them with diapers or food or maybe finding out about available shelters in the area.  Other times it’s helping them come up with a plan to find work, get back into school, or learn about area services (including others from our organization) that might be able to help them. 

What I want most out of every interaction is for them to feel like they were heard.

Unaccompanied Youth: How do you help unaccompanied youth change their lives around?

Matt Hanson: That’s a pretty subjective question, but I think I understand what you mean by it.  Just as no two people (even in the same household) have the same life experiences that shape them, no youth have the same story or life-changing circumstances when they come through my doors.  That said, no work to support them or the eventual “success” looks the same as well. 

As I said above, being heard…truly listened to is a gift many have not received.  That kind of openness and trust is earned carefully and cautiously – especially with those who have been victimized or through a lot of trauma. That in itself is a huge success in my book. Sometimes seeing those youth come back and still be ALIVE is a miracle. They are the true survivors that I need to learn from. Meeting them on their terms is the start of that lesson.

Honestly, I go into each year saying that I am looking for one “success”. A single, knowable, life-changing moment with just one youth during my 365 day job is what it takes to make it worthwhile. Are there more than this that I see? Absolutely. There are also many that I do not see and may not ever see come to fruition many years down the road, but that’s not what my work is about.  I also see so many things that look like failure, but actually turn out to be the tipping point that leads to life change.  I am there for them regardless.

Unaccompanied Youth: What do you see the unaccompanied youth struggle with the most?

Matt Hanson: There is a far-too-common held idea that if the homeless just had a place to live or a job, they would be set. The reality is that many of the youth I serve find places to live (albeit unsafe), do not starve (although it’s a poor diet), and have some sort of income (often illegally gained). Homeless/couch-hopping youth in Northern Minnesota find a way to survive by any means necessary, because anything less is death by the elements.  They are survivors.

If I had to list the most common barriers, they would be as such:

-       Lack of safe, affordable housing

-       No living wage employment

-       Unreliable transportation

-       Alcohol/Substance issues

-       Mental health (undiagnosed or unregulated)

-       Pregnant/parenting

-       No positive support

Unaccompanied Youth: On average, how many unaccompanied youth do you see/help/work with in one year?

Matt Hanson: My outreach program served 563 different youth (age 21 and under) last year.

Unaccompanied Youth: What is the biggest struggle you have found when working with unaccompanied youth?

Matt Hanson: I might be an anomaly, but I have never struggled to work with youth – whether it was finding them, relating to them, or sorting through what they have going on.  That being said, the work is not easy.  It’s stressful, frustrating and heart-breaking work, but it’s also incredibly rewarding, hilarious, and I wouldn’t trade the experiences for the world.

My biggest struggles have been in regards to staffing, funding, and the various time constraints that come with a non-profit that is dependent on grants. 

Unaccompanied Youth:  On average, do more unaccompanied youth struggle or thrive?

Matt Hanson: That is really unquantifiable, but I would say instead that they survive. Whether survival is struggling or thriving, that’s totally relative and a matter of perspective.  If you know anything about Maslow’s hierarchy of need, it’s very difficult to achieve any level above the one you’re on if you have unfulfilled needs. Many of the youth I work with have very few basic needs being safely and consistently met.

Unaccompanied Youth: In what ways are unaccompanied youth better off?

Matt Hanson: Mankind was not meant to be alone, nor youth apart from their families.  That said, in situations where a youth flees his “home” (I use that term loosely) as a result of abuse, neglect, etc. it is essential to their survival. 

Unaccompanied Youth: Anything else you would like to add?

Matt Hanson: Sure. Thanks for the opportunity to speak about a subculture that is not only close to my heart, but an intricate piece of our communities - whether we acknowledge them or not. 

I’d also like to challenge everyone to take a step back and examine how you view those around you. There are a lot of preconceived notions about who the homeless are and what has gotten them to where they are. Very few of the thousands of youth I have served over the years have chosen to couch hop or be homeless. Many of us do not realize how blessed we are for having been given simple advantages through our families, finances, circumstances etc.

Q & A With Joli Guenther

Jamie Babetch | Unaccompanied Youth

Jamie Babetch had a Q and A with Joli Guenther, assistant director for the Wisconsin Association for Homeless and Runaway Services, check out Joli’s responses to our questions, and don’t forget to “Like” us on Facebook. Feel free to share your story with us!

Unaccompanied Youth | Jamie Babetch: What kind of work do you do for unaccompanied youth? 

Joli Guenther: I am the Assistant Director for the Wisconsin Association for Homeless and Runaway Services, a consortium of runaway and homeless youth agencies throughout Wisconsin.  My work is primarily with the agencies that provide direct services to youth, ensuring the provision of high quality, consistent services throughout the state, as well as serving as an advocate and educator regarding youth issues at the state and Federal levels.

Jamie Babetch: How do you help unaccompanied youth change their lives around?

Joli Guenther: By working to ensure accessible services of a high quality are available to youth on a voluntary basis.

Jamie Babetch: What do you see the unaccompanied youth struggle with the most?

Joli Guenther: Although I don’t work one on one with youth, the issues that drive youth to leave or be pushed out of the home are, not surprisingly family dynamics.  Abuse and neglect, educational issues, poverty and substance use issues (both by the youth and their family members) are also huge factors that lead youth to run away or be “thrown away” by their families.

Jamie Babetch: On average, how many unaccompanied youth do you see/help/work with in one year?

Joli Guenther: My work doesn’t lead to my working one on one with youth, as it’s more of an administrative role.  Our 23 runaway programs throughout Wisconsin served over 2100 youth face to face and had over 15,000 hotline contacts.

Jamie Babetch: What is the biggest struggle you have found when working with unaccompanied youth?

Joli Guenther: Our biggest struggle is providing consistent services with limited resources.  Due to the collaborative work among programs, Wisconsin is ahead of most states in ensuring that services are available outside of the major metropolitan areas; however, in recent years, services have become more expensive due to the higher need and greater requirements of providing shelter and it’s difficult to provide these services around the clock, as needed by youth and their families.  

Jamie Babetch:  On average, do more unaccompanied youth struggle or thrive?

Joli Guenther: Without question, it’s easy for unaccompanied youth to be lost along the way.  The youth served by our programs, on the other hand, usually thrive.  I think that’s due to the voluntary nature of service provision and ensuring that youth are active participants in defining their goals and what it means to be successful.  One example of that is the positive placement rate of youth who have received services by our agencies.  Over 95% of youth served return home or to an agreed upon safe placement upon completing services.

Jamie Babetch: In what ways are unaccompanied youth better off?

Joli Guenther: Unaccompanied youth are better off as a result of receiving programming from our agencies because they have an advocate that can work one on one with them and see the unique strengths of the youth and their families.  This allows the family to work, voluntarily, to return the youth home or to a place that makes more sense for everyone, without involving the expense and stigma of the court system.

Jamie Babetch: Anything else you would like to add?

Joli Guenther: Just that I’m very glad to be doing the work that I do.  I’ve been with the Association for over 14 years and most of our agencies have been doing their work for 30+ years.  We started as a more grassroots form of service provision and it’s been exciting to see the professionalization of services over time and to see the results that we get have such a big impact on the lives of youth and their families.

Bryce Christopherson

 

By Marshall Bauer|Unaccompanied Youth

Bryce Christopherson, now 22, has lived on his own since he was 17 and a junior in high school. 

Bryce moved out after a series of disagreements with his parents came to a head, which was near the end of his junior year. 

Interview with guidance counselor Matt Horel

This video is a discussion with Winona Area Public Schools Guidance Counselor Matt Horel about some possible repercussions of being an unaccompanied youth and how WAPS counselors help students in need.

Allie - Part 2

Allie: Part 2

By Marshall Bauer | Unaccompanied Youth

Allie’s dad came back for Easter to visit and help Allie pack. He stayed from Friday until Tuesday. 

 “I’ve been trying to pack a lot, and then my dad came into town, and we’ve been hanging out,” Allie said. “We made dinner yesterday for Easter, and we were singing our lungs out to Fleetwood Mac.”

Allie - Part 1

Allie: Part 1

By Marshall Bauer | Unaccompanied Youth Project

Allie has lived on her own completely since June 2012, despite not turning 18 until September. 

She had lived alone on and off for a few months before that when her dad would stay with his girlfriend for a few weeks at a time in the Twin Cities.